what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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