I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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