Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize