You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize