OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
