Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
