His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Randomize
