What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
