just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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