that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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