I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
