my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
