your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A bitchslap is in order.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
