Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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