when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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