then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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