Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
