dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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