my phone cant type all the emotion im having
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
