you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
