Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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