Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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