I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
