I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
