I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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