just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize