I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize