the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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