oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize