We're like a lot better than the average bears
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
