She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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