Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
