he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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