I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
