I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize