it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize