Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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