he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
