I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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