I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
