There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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