i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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