I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I didn't shave. On purpose
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
