If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
