We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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