I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
