No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
