i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
