get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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