puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
