Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize