Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
