I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
