Betty ford says i'm here all night
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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