Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
