i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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