Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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